


Like a tide coming in, I opened my eyes and there you were

by bchekov



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship, honestly just dirk thinking about their relationship, they're both not great at communicating feelings okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 06:26:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13607496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bchekov/pseuds/bchekov
Summary: He had taken to sleeping at Todd's most of the week, hiding behind excuses like how it was closer to the agency and how his sleeping pills often made it difficult to wake on his own, when they both really knew it was because neither liked to sleep alone; it was a silent agreement on spending the night with nothing else attached. The first one up is the first one who leaves.





	Like a tide coming in, I opened my eyes and there you were

**Author's Note:**

> it's 2 am im too tired to look it over again so please forgive any spelling or grammatical error

He likes it the most in the early mornings, when the sun has barely risen and the only noises to be heard are soft exhales and the gentle rustle of sheets; when his mind is still fuzzy from last night’s pills and the body next to his has yet to leave. The quiet allows him to finally take a break from his mind and just _breathe_. He runs a hand through greasy hair and sighs through his nose.

He had taken to sleeping at Todd's most of the week, hiding behind excuses like how it was closer to the agency and how his sleeping pills often made it difficult to wake on his own, when they both really knew it was because neither liked to sleep alone; it was a silent agreement on spending the night with nothing else attached. The first one up is the first one who leaves. They weren’t very good at discussing feelings, especially concerning their _thing_ they had going on, as Farah as well as Amanda had tried to approach them on the topic, with little success, more than once. Dirk liked to believe that they didn’t need to talk about it, and that it would either just evolve into something more or naturally fade.

If he was completely honest, he can’t see either coming true, especially the former idea.

He knows well that communication is important in any type of relationship but he can’t bring himself to talk to Todd. Not now; perhaps never. He doesn’t want to ruin things, which he is almost positive he already has. He sees the way Todd looks at him when he thinks he isn’t paying attention, his face and he can practically feel the way his body seems to tense up when their hands brush. It hurts to see, even more so knowing it most likely hurts Todd as much, if not more.

Frustrated with himself, he sighs again and retracts his hand. He briefly blames Blackwing for removing him from society and genuine human contact for so long that he can’t properly digest thoughts nor emotions concerning the people in his life, but halts his mind from completely going there. He tells himself he’s done playing the blame game; he knows it’s his own fault, and he’ll be damned if he’s not going to do something to correct it, he thinks with the type of courage that only comes you at 4 in the morning.

Then Todd stirs, and Dirk, whose resolution disappeared as quick as it came, sinks back into the pillow and closes his eyes to feign sleep. The sheets rustle as the body beside him moves. It’s too loud, Dirk thinks and furrows his eyebrows. There’s a quiet sigh and an arm is draped over his chest. He carefully opens his eyes and is greeted by Todd’s face, close enough to make his eyes cross when looking at him.

“Jesus Dirk,” Todd exhales with a frown, “I need coffee first.”

Dirk bites back a smile despite the headache he feels coming on; there’s a contentedness blooming in his chest and for a moment, everything feels okay. 

The next time he opens his eyes the sun is high and sunlight is leaking through the blinds into his face. The bed is empty next to him. He knew this morning wasn’t going to be different, he tells himself, but it doesn’t soothe burning behind his eyes.


End file.
